Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Conrad Poem Meta Cognitive

Carla Castillo Mr. Gallagher
P.2 AP lit.

Heart of Darkness Meta-Cognitive

After completing Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad it left an impression on me of how maybe if Marlow had known what this journey would have truly brought him, would he have gone on it to begin with. In my poem I tried to retell the novella in Marlow’s perspective but in a more morbid and depressing manner. I felt like this eerie way of portraying Marlow’s journey really gives a different but really similar interpretation of Heart of Darkness.
“A haze vanishing the flatness
holding our hearts together
the air was dark and motionless
I let him run on”.
I titled my poem I let him run on because I feel like its almost an interpretation of Marlow letting him self and his apprehensions about going on this trip be released from his conscious. I feel if he had thought about what he was getting himself into there is a chance he wouldn’t have even tried to go on this trip. I started my poem by talking about the journey itself in my head I pictured the opening of a scene a misty river in between a jungle. Deep green is seen in every direction the sky is dark gray from the fog and Marlow is in his own mind thinking of what is awaiting him.
gaze at the moon
miserable and sick stillness
looking at us two It arrested me
the movement almost black
I wanted to provide a lot of imagery in my poem just like Conrad did in Heart of Darkness. The imagery of Heart of Darkness is what really made the story so invoking to the reader and I wanted my poem to have a similar affect on the readers of my poem.

Conrad Poem

Let him run on (93)
A haze (65) vanishing the flatness
holding our hearts together(65)
the air was dark(65) and (92)motionless(65)
I let him run on (95) gaze at the moon (95)
miserable and sick (94) stillness (94)
looking at us two (94) It arrested me (92)
the movement (92) almost black (92)
there was no hurry (90)
I had given up (99)
But they didn’t (98)

I heard voices approaching (99)
Somewhere (103) in another existence (103)
I can tell you (104) a glimpse (105)
an improved specimen (106)
I lifted my eyes (108)
Approached cautiously (107)
After so many months (109)
Can you turn back? (117)
It takes a man (113)
I made no move (113)

I looked at him (129)
His very existence (129)
Was altogether bewildering (129)
Glamour urged him (129)
To move onwards (129)
A dark blue space (130) had (143)
Had fallen over him (142)
To invoke him (143) he was alone (143)
To dream the nightmare (148)
Mistah Kurtz –he dead (148)

1-2 Images from research paper artist

In the painting Urano en casa 4 by Jorge de la Vega he uses different colors, abstract paintings techniques and textures in his painting. At first glance you are really taken back by the painting it is so much to take in De la Vega uses bold colors in his painting like red, orange, turquoise, blue, light yellow, and grey on a cream colored canvas that he did not completely color but regardless of whether he colored it or not it is actually a part of the painting. Black is also a color that almost hides in this painting while I was looking at it I was so taken in by the other colors and textures I barley noticed it. I was trying to figure out how he mad those textures appear on his painting but I still can not figure it out, the audience would think he just painted it on himself like it was just an optical illusion but if you look closely he actually created the texture out of cloth or paper.It looks like the painting is just a mess of colors but if you study the contours of the lines and what they create a shape slowly starts forming. The colors reminded me of a circus because how the were really bold and in your face and I had seen this painting before and thought it was fascinating but when I did this assignment I saw something in the painting that I had not seen before or noticed at all there is an elephant in Jorge De la Vega’s painting. So when I thought about it those bold and crazy colors that had reminded me of a circus before now fit perfectly. The painting gives this feeling of hectic ness and stress but at the same time it is really calming.So if you were to picture it think of this whirl wind of colors on this cream canvas it almost seems like you are being pulled in by this gravitational pull. It gives you this feeling that you want to be a part of it; the viewer is almost hypnotized by it. Then as you see this whirl wind and swirl of colors things almost appear to slow down and you look closely and see this shape start to come through and as you look closer it this animal jumps out at you and elephant. Then your almost thrown back like you can hear its trunk swinging out at you and then this calm appears again and you almost become a part of it like the viewer and the elephant become one. So when this calm replaces again you feel almost satisfied like it changed your mood. It makes the viewer think of the world and how there are so many obstacles, and hurdles to jump. How some times the noise all around you grows so loud you can barley hear yourself breathe let alone think. People always feel like the have to get away from the noise and find some silence by going to the country side or going on vacation or leaving their everyday lives to escape. After looking at his painting I noticed that when you are surrounded by all this noise and craziness you are able to find yourself and sometimes the noise is more calming then the silence, De la Vega makes you realize that the silence is not always comforting. De la Vega shows you that every day you pass by millions of people and all these faces just go by and no one ever stops to get to know them and life is just like that but that is how you live it.I wanted to talk about De la Vega’s technique you really need to look at this painting to understand it if you just stare at it nothing come out but when you look at it more than once you start to feel its atmosphere, then you get lost in it and find the true meaning of it, its almost mind blowing to see all the things you had missed before. The fact that he choose an elephant is really interesting because elephants have a lot of different meanings to them. People say elephants are a symbol for fertility which is interesting to the viewer of the art because could De la Vega be saying something about birth, it is a possibility. Elephants are also a symbol for strength, an elephant ways about two tons so it is easy to see why strength would be a symbol for an elephant.Wisdom is also something that is connected with elephants, which fits in with the theme of De la Vegas painting because it gives you a new perspective on life. And this elephant’s presence makes the paintings whole purpose be communicated to the viewer. This wisdom given by the elephant gives a whole new meaning it makes the viewer feel as if they are the elephants this strong, and wise being with all this potential and drive to live their life. Elephants are also a symbol for luck, like an elephants presence is a good luck charm. So this gives the painting a feeling of a spiritual sense as well as a metaphorical sense. So obviously De la Vega had many reasons as to why he included and elephant as the animal in his painting other than something else.In Jorge De la Vega’s painting Urano en Casa 4, he creates this world for his viewer of craziness and hectic-ness to make this feeling of uneasiness but as the viewer looks at the painting they slowly start to see what De la Vega was trying to show them. That our lives are this jumbled, crazy mess but in all of the craziness there is beauty and if you are so narrow minded and can only focus on the bad you miss out on the bigger picture in front of you. Silence is nice because it allows you to get away from your life and think about everything you are going through, but what De la Vega is trying to show you is that the running away to that silence doesn’t always solve your problems sometimes it just makes it worse, and De la Vega does this effortlessly.

Frank O'Hara Explication

Carla Castillo
Mr. Gallagher
Period 2

Frank O’Hara Explication

In Having a Coke with you by Frank O’Hara, O’Hara tries to send out a message to his readers that that anything in comparison to love seems small. He brings the reader into his poem by the title being the actual first line of the poem. Through this poem O’Hara wants the reader to visualize all these beautiful places around the world and these marvelous paintings. Then he wants the reader to realize that these things are all master pieces but can never measure up to finding the missing part of you in someone else.

Having a Coke with you by Frank O’Hara pulls the reader into to this subtle love story that he creates of a man telling the woman he loves that all experiences in life would be meaningless with out her. In his poem he lists all the places he has seen and how they mean nothing in comparison to her. He says
“San Sebastian, IrĂșn, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona”
These are some of the most beautiful places in Europe and he says that having a coke with this mystery woman is more fun than all of those places.

The speaker of the poem begins to describe his other half and uses lots of repetition he says
“partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on” (O’Hara)
This way of having the reader describe their love on is definitely effective because it shows the reader that it isn’t just some ones looks or their money or one quality about them that causes their other half to fall in love with them it is every single thing about them that causes love to occur.
The speaker talks about how things that used to amaze him now seem ordinary.
“and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them”(O’Hara)
the speaker wants to prove their love towards the other person so as they go on and on about all the things in life they have seen or experienced they realize that none of that matter anymore because love has blinded them of all things of beauty.

The speaker of the poem is madly in love and nothing else could change that. Whether he is with his love in Barcelona or at New York at a cafĂ© it doesn’t matter the only thing that does is her. He says “thank heavens you haven’t gone to yet so we can go together the first time” The speaker wants every moment of the rest of his life to be in her presence with her by his side. Love makes the world go round is definitely something the speaker of O’Hara’s poem definitely believes in.

In Having a Coke with You by Frank O’Hara, O’Hara tries to send out a message to his readers that that anything in comparison to love seems small. In O’Hara made his speaker into someone who had seen the world, some one who knew beauties that other men had only dreamed of. Until that point his speaker was convinced he had all that he needed or could ever want until he had her in his life. O’Hara wanted his readers to see the vital importance of love and how with out it all other things seem meaningless.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

College Essay

College Essay

“Your brother is different.” That’s how my mother decided to tell a five year old me that my brother had Autism. Until that point I had never thought there was anything different about him. He was just my older brother; he played with me like any sibling would, and watched cartoons with my sister and I. The thought that something was wrong with him seemed incomprehensible. As I got older I realized what my mother had meant, that little kid in me faded with age and became less compatible with my brother. It was difficult for me to bond with some one who couldn’t answer me back. This didn’t mean that we were unable to have a normal family life. When we got aggravated with each other it was hard because after a fight we couldn’t go up to each other and apologize. I guess I became used to things being left unsaid. As I moved on to high school and matured the one thing that bridged the gap between us was movies.
Since we were little it was what we loved to do you put a movie on and my brother and I would be quiet for as long as that movie would last. That love stayed with us because it was our way to escape from everything around us and be in another place, and another time. When he watched a movie his eyes would light up and shine and a smile would appear on his face from ear to ear. It was always incredible to me how he would react to the movies it was like everyone in the room was gone and he wasn’t on the other side of the television. He was there in the moment he was the main character fighting a pirate. He was the boy riding on the polar express to a place unknown. With every twist and turn his joy and excitement would fill the room. Since this was our only true time to bond; I always watched him carefully and through his expressions alone I was there right next to him. Whether it was fighting a villain, flying a plane, or saving a princess I was there. We were side kicks; the brother and sister who couldn’t stand each other, were now best friends. When he was in that movie for at least an hour and a half he was in control. My parents weren’t there handing him what clothes to wear, what food to eat, or sending him off to school. Fabian was in control so if he didn’t like a part he would skip over it, this was his world and he was king; and no one tells the king what to do in his castle. If he was to like a certain part he would watch it over, and over again and he would do it till he decided he was ready to continue on with the film. I loved that my brother was able to finally have a say, if I am tired, don’t feel well, or am not ready to face something; I can say it. With Fabian he can’t, he has no way of telling his feelings, sadly the best we can do is try and guess. It may not be fair, but it’s the best we can do for now. Regardless of all the restrictions, limitations, and complications in his life he always has a smile on his face. I admire him for that; it is always the most unfortunate who are the happiest. I truly believe in this; I am blessed with a voice and the strength and free will to take action on it.
Our love of movies has been what has kept us together, even after all life changes that have occurred my brother is still one of the most important people in my life. He is also my biggest inspiration, every opportunity that I am given I go for it, and every obstacle I take head on. I try and live by this because I am lucky for what I have and I know I don’t need more, I realize through my brother that having everything you could ever want is no life at all. Tomorrow I could lose some one or something that matters to me, and thanks to him I realize that happiness is obtainable and the only person preventing your happiness is you.

The One Page Memior

It was the summer of 2007; I was out of school, and into friends, sleeping in, and living in the moment. I wasn’t alone on my journey I had four friends ready to start it with me. It all started the day of a party at a boy’s house I had just met but he knew my two best friends. Usually I enjoy sticking to my element and don’t appreciate diving in to things head first, but there was something different about that day. For the first time in my life I wasn’t scared of being who I was. I wasn’t scared of being loud, telling inappropriate jokes, or making a fool out of my self because everyone else was eager to do the same with me. There were no awkward silences or lack of conversation topics; it was as if we were all friends since we were old enough to remember each other.
There was Ana, what she lacked in height she made up for in personality she had been the one person I had known since as long as I could remember. Her personality was so big, and amazingly outgoing at times I felt like I did not have to be anything but her friend, I was always extremely dependent on her. This was the first day that I was really me was at that party, and when I realized that I looked to my best friend to see if she noticed my burst of confidence and she looked back at me with pride. Then there was Kristen, we had just become friends that year. With Kristen there was never a dull moment, she was the kind of friend you could laugh with for hours on end, and cry with over how miserable you both were at the same time. Through her and Ana I met Andrew. Andrew was different out of all the guy friends I had ever had, in fact he was the polar opposite. He laughed at everything we found funny, and was not scared to make a fool out of him self and by acting like an idiot like the rest of us he actually seemed cooler than most guys.
It seemed like the beginning of a beautiful friendship, and it was. We would spend everyday together, and even when we were doing nothing we were always entertained. We were like the perfect four piece puzzle; soon we became five when Eric came into the picture. He was Andrews’s cousin and knew just how to make us all laugh, some might call his humor weird, but weird is all that our group knew and it worked for us. We all became inseparable, although we had families, jobs, and other friends we always in between the chaos ended up together. We spent one amazing summer together, some of us fell in love, and some of us fell out of it. Some of us strayed at the end and some of us stayed. Some of us fought, and some of us made up. The day before my junior year was to begin I looked at pictures of all of us, we looked fearless, confident, and on top of the world. We all brought something different and incredible to the table. We had an incredible run for three months, and when life came back in to the picture as soon as it came it was gone. I had lost what I had been searching for, I look back on it now as the happiest time of my life. Although I miss it and wish that we were all still a part of each others life we will always have that summer, and I will always have that first day we were all together where everything fell into place, and for the first time I was me.

Filler Page

Although I had a true realization of what it was to be a woman in a culture that at times can be oppressing towards my sex. I had a realization of what it was to be a woman, just a woman. When I figured out what that truly meant I realized that I had to be what a woman was, a strong, caring, protective, and undefeatable being. For me to be what it was I wanted to, I had to leave what I had always known, and what I had over time learned to resent. I resented what it stood for but my home, my true home is a place I could never truly hate or resent. The people I’ve met, and the family I had will always be what I think of when I remember home.
There is a saying that “Home is where the heart is.” For the first time in my life I understood it. My home was my friends, my loved ones, and my books. They were always with me. Their comforting words, the stories they told which made me laugh, cry, smile, and even shake in suspense stayed with me. They were there the moment I walked out of my home and turned back to face it for the last time. The memories may have occurred in this physical location but they would never be truly taken away from me. They would stay in my heart for ever, and that was exactly how long I planned to keep them with me.