“Your brother is different.” That’s how my mother decided to tell a five year old me that my brother had Autism. Until that point I had never thought there was anything different about him. He was just my older brother; he played with me like any sibling would, and watched cartoons with my sister and I. The thought that something was wrong with him seemed incomprehensible. As I got older I realized what my mother had meant, that little kid in me faded with age and became less compatible with my brother. It was difficult for me to bond with some one who couldn’t answer me back. This didn’t mean that we were unable to have a normal family life. When we got aggravated with each other it was hard because after a fight we couldn’t go up to each other and apologize. I guess I became used to things being left unsaid. As I moved on to high school and matured the one thing that bridged the gap between us was movies.
Since we were little it was what we loved to do you put a movie on and my brother and I would be quiet for as long as that movie would last. That love stayed with us because it was our way to escape from everything around us and be in another place, and another time. When he watched a movie his eyes would light up and shine and a smile would appear on his face from ear to ear. It was always incredible to me how he would react to the movies it was like everyone in the room was gone and he wasn’t on the other side of the television. He was there in the moment he was the main character fighting a pirate. He was the boy riding on the polar express to a place unknown. With every twist and turn his joy and excitement would fill the room. Since this was our only true time to bond; I always watched him carefully and through his expressions alone I was there right next to him. Whether it was fighting a villain, flying a plane, or saving a princess I was there. We were side kicks; the brother and sister who couldn’t stand each other, were now best friends. When he was in that movie for at least an hour and a half he was in control. My parents weren’t there handing him what clothes to wear, what food to eat, or sending him off to school. Fabian was in control so if he didn’t like a part he would skip over it, this was his world and he was king; and no one tells the king what to do in his castle. If he was to like a certain part he would watch it over, and over again and he would do it till he decided he was ready to continue on with the film. I loved that my brother was able to finally have a say, if I am tired, don’t feel well, or am not ready to face something; I can say it. With Fabian he can’t, he has no way of telling his feelings, sadly the best we can do is try and guess. It may not be fair, but it’s the best we can do for now. Regardless of all the restrictions, limitations, and complications in his life he always has a smile on his face. I admire him for that; it is always the most unfortunate who are the happiest. I truly believe in this; I am blessed with a voice and the strength and free will to take action on it.
Our love of movies has been what has kept us together, even after all life changes that have occurred my brother is still one of the most important people in my life. He is also my biggest inspiration, every opportunity that I am given I go for it, and every obstacle I take head on. I try and live by this because I am lucky for what I have and I know I don’t need more, I realize through my brother that having everything you could ever want is no life at all. Tomorrow I could lose some one or something that matters to me, and thanks to him I realize that happiness is obtainable and the only person preventing your happiness is you.